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Marriage is not like war: You sleep with the enemy

Harrasing me about my smoking may be hazardous to your health!

Drugs cause amnesia, and other things I can't remember

Don't breed them if you can't feed them

The rich get richer and the poor get children

Conserve water, drink beer

People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun

If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most



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